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Navigating friendships can sometimes be tricky, especially when you suspect that not all your friends have your best interests at heart.

Frenemies—those people who pretend to be your friend but secretly harbor envy, jealousy, or ill will—can be challenging to identify.

However, knowing how to spot frenemies can save you a lot of heartache and frustration.

In this post, we’ll explore 15 ways to identify frenemies in your life.

By recognizing these signs, you can protect yourself and maintain healthier relationships.

1. Backhanded Compliments

One of the telltale signs of frenemies is the backhanded compliment. These are remarks that seem positive on the surface but have a hidden insult.

For example, they might say, “You look great today, for once.” These comments can leave you feeling confused and hurt.

Read: Being Jealous: Understanding and Overcoming It

2. Competitive Behavior

Frenemies often see you as a competition rather than a friend.

They might always try to one-up you or downplay your achievements.

If you find that someone is always turning everything into a competition, they might not be a true friend.

3. Gossiping About You

True friends don’t talk behind your back.

If you hear that someone you consider a friend is spreading rumors or gossiping about you, it’s a clear sign of a frenemy.

Real friends respect your privacy and won’t betray your trust.

4. Constant Criticism

Frenemies often disguise their negative comments as “constructive criticism.”

However, if you notice that their feedback is overwhelmingly negative and rarely supportive, they might be trying to undermine your confidence rather than help you improve.

5. Jealousy and Envy

Jealousy is a common trait among frenemies. They might show envy when you achieve something or receive praise.

Instead of being happy for your successes, they might try to downplay your accomplishments or even sabotage your efforts.

Read: How to Stop Being Jealous of Others’ Success

6. Inconsistent Support

A true friend is there for you through thick and thin. Frenemies, however, might only show up when it’s convenient for them.

If you notice that someone is only supportive when it benefits them or when they need something from you, they might not be a genuine friend.

7. Reluctance to Celebrate Your Successes

Frenemies often have a hard time celebrating your achievements.

They might change the subject, offer lukewarm congratulations, or even make snide remarks when you share good news.

Genuine friends, on the other hand, are genuinely happy about your successes and celebrate with you.

8. Manipulative Behavior

Manipulation is a key characteristic of frenemies. They might use guilt, flattery, or deceit to get what they want from you.

If you often feel manipulated or coerced into doing things you’re uncomfortable with, it’s a red flag.

Read: How to Deal With Manipulative People

9. Excessive Flattery

While compliments are nice, excessive flattery can be a sign of a frenemy.

They might use flattery to get on your good side or to mask their true intentions.

Be wary of friends who constantly shower you with insincere praise.

10. Playing the Victim

Frenemies often play the victim to gain sympathy and manipulate others.

They might always seem to have a sob story or blame others for their problems.

If someone frequently plays the victim and never takes responsibility, they might not be a true friend.

11. Unreliable and Inconsistent

True friends are reliable and consistent. Frenemies, on the other hand, might be flaky and inconsistent in their behavior.

If someone frequently cancels plans, breaks promises, or is only available when it suits them, they might not be a genuine friend.

12. Negative Energy

Frenemies often bring negative energy into your life.

They might constantly complain, focus on the negative, or bring you down with their pessimism.

Surrounding yourself with positive people is important for your well-being, so be mindful of those who drain your energy.

Read: Why You Should Remove Negative People

13. Lack of Empathy

Empathy is a cornerstone of true friendship.

Frenemies, however, might lack empathy and be indifferent to your feelings and experiences.

If someone consistently shows a lack of empathy and understanding, they might not be a genuine friend.

14. Exploiting Your Weaknesses

Frenemies might exploit your weaknesses or vulnerabilities to make themselves feel superior.

They might bring up your past mistakes, use your insecurities against you, or take advantage of your kindness.

True friends support you and help you grow rather than exploiting your weaknesses.

15. Secretly Enjoying Your Failures

Finally, one of the most hurtful signs of a frenemy is someone who secretly enjoys your failures.

They might pretend to be sympathetic, but deep down, they take pleasure in your setbacks.

Genuine friends offer support and encouragement, even when things go wrong.

Read: 15 Things That Really Don’t Impress Self-Confident Women

Final Thoughts On Frenemies

Spotting the signs of frenemies is key to keeping your relationships healthy and supportive. We all deserve friends who have our back, not ones who secretly hope we trip up.

By being aware of these red flags, you can dodge toxic friendships and focus on building connections with people who truly care about you.

After all, who needs the drama of a frenemy when there are genuine friends out there who will cheer you on?

Remember, true friends lift you up, celebrate your wins, and stick by you during tough times.

They don’t just show up for the good times or use your struggles to make themselves feel better.

Trust your instincts and prioritize your well-being by surrounding yourself with positive, genuine friends. Life’s too short to waste on people who don’t have your best interests at heart.

So, keep an eye out for those who truly value you, and let go of those who bring negativity into your life.

Your happiness and peace of mind are worth it. Surround yourself with people who make you feel valued, respected, and loved.

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